Captive
by Dreaming of Everything
Summary: AU HieiBotan fic. Hiei, a mass murderer who now regrets his acts, is being held captive in a stone tower by King Enma for political reasons. Botan, a witch in training, crashes through his window to escape from a mob that wants to burn her. Finished.
1. Beginnings

**Captive: Chapter One **by Dreaming of Everything

**This work of fanfiction is dedicated to RitSuYue. Thank you very much for the idea for this fic, and for the reviews you've given me on It's Raining. She won this in my review contest. That's the only reason this exists.**

**A/N**: Another Hiei/Botan fic! Yay! I'd like to note that _italics_ indicate private thoughts not shared with anyone. It's all in someone's head... **Bold **indicates a mental conversation using Hiei's Jagan. This only applies to full sentences; bold and italic both will be used to indicate emphasis on a single word on occasion.

To anyone who might want this to be a Botan/Kurama fic: I'm afraid the central pairing is non-negotiable. Sorry. Botan will find Kurama attractive, but it's a light crush and they both know it, her most especially. Other pairings will probably not happen unless someone wants it **really really badly** and tells me so—nicely—in a review.

**Disclaimer**: This AU world belongs to me (somewhat,) as does the plot. Hiei, Botan, Genkai, Baba Yaga, Kurama and all other Yu Yu Hakusho characters are **not, **repeat **not,** owned by me. If I **did** own them, there would've been Hiei/Botan romance a long time ago...

_It was not,_ thought Botan, _a properly dramatic night._ She had a sense for these sorts of things. It should be pitch dark and blowing a gale, the wind whipping raindrops into searing cold sheets.

It **shouldn't** be a nice warm evening with a mild breeze blowing, the sky still light, the sun having just dipped below the horizon a few minutes ago. A few birds were still singing in the trees, even.

It would have been the perfectly idyllic evening for sitting outside with a glass of lemonade and watching the fireflies. Instead she was fleeing for her life on her oar, chased by a mob of people who had known her since birth, all of them screaming anti-magic charms at her. Alone they wouldn't have done much, but the combined weight was slowing her down. This wasn't going to end well... she was flying close to the ground, unable to get any higher, and was struggling to keep her oar going faster than the running people behind her; normally it would have taken almost no effort to go two or three times this fast.

Her master, Genkai, had escaped, strong enough to be able to get away even with the charms; her mortar and pestle (1) were also more impressive than her own oar, which wasn't very sensible tool for flying. _Oh well... We're not able to control how our energy manifests._

She jerked her mind off of her musings. _I suppose it's the shock that's making it so hard to concentrate._ She couldn't afford to lose concentration right now! Especially not seeing that tall tower looming in front of her... Odd, it didn't have a door. She could sense the magic that had sealed off where the opening had been. _Holy magic,_ she thought, mental voice bitter. _The difference between 'destroying a force of evil' and lynching 'a man of god' is the approval of Enma._

Maybe this tower could be her saving, though. She exerted all of her control, forcing a last burst of speed and angling upward. She crashed through the window, landing hard on the stone block floor that lay underneath her. She lay there, panting hard and sweating, the last of her reserve energy completely gone, utterly helpless.

A shadow, slightly darker than the ones that surrounded it, shifted, revealing a glint of red eyes.

_I hope this isn't one of those frying pan-fire situations..._ was her last thought before she fell into unconsciousness. Maybe those charms had been more powerful than she had thought.

Hiei blinked.

A girl, looking utterly terrified, had just crashed through his window, in reality a glassless hole in the wall, and then passed out.

He moved to the window and looked down. A grumbling angry crowd was milling below. The smell of bloodlust was pouring off of them. Hiei wrinkled his nose in distaste. They were obviously not planning on helping the girl. If he ignored them they'd probably end up leaving; nobody other than a chosen few servants and the royal family knew he was here. Everybody knew **who **he was just not **where** he was.

He turned his attention to the more immediate problem of the girl. She was still unconscious. He couldn't get rid of her... Not when he was unable to leave and she was unconscious. He wasn't the sort of person who would just kill her, then incinerate the body, or simply toss her out the window. Not any more. He had changed, in the years he'd been locked in this tower.

She could have the bed; he always slept on the windowsill, anyway. It was as close to outside as he could get, now... But that was a closed subject. It wasn't like there was anything for him outside, anyways...

He easily lifted the girl, placing her on the bed, careful not to jostle her. He wasn't sure why he bothered.

Botan slept long and deep. She was still young, her magical strength still developing, and she had completely emptied herself of power the night before. Her body needed a 'recharge' period.

When she woke up it was nearly noon, and she was staring directly into two red eyes with a white bandanna above them. A few strands of black hair had strayed into her line of sight as well.

The effect was fairly instantaneous. Botan, having just woken up in situation strenuous enough to begin with, reacted with the expected startled scream. Hiei, who had been checking on the girl who had dropped through his window under mysterious circumstances (her oar had disappeared shortly before she had ended up on the floor) when she had suddenly woken up, was startled as well, especially considering the unexpected (on reflection it made a lot of sense) scream, had moved away quickly. To Botan it looked like he had disappeared from one side of the fairly small room to the other, his eyes slightly widened with shock.

Botan took a few deep breaths, calming herself and getting her adrenaline rush in control.

"I'm very sorry about all of this. I wasn't really thinking when I came through your window; I hadn't thought about whether the tower was occupied or not at the time. I'll leave immediately... Again, I'm very sorry." she said. This person--this demon--obviously enjoyed his privacy, if he had built a tower with no doors in the middle of a very empty forest.

Botan made to move, but was unable to carry through with the gesture. She got about halfway upright before collapsing back on the bed. She offered up a sheepish grin. "I'm afraid that I'm not really up to moving at the moment... I guess I over-taxed myself more than I had expected. Oh! By the way, my name's Botan."

"Hiei," offered the demon, voice and face both equally impassive.

There was a slightly awkward pause.

"You don't mind that I'm a witch, do you?" asked Botan, sounding troubled.

"No..."

"Good. I don't know what I'd do then... My village just got a Priest, and they decided that they didn't need me or my Master, Genkai, anymore." Her voice sounded slightly bitter. "Ever since King Enma decreed that only Holy Magic was allowed, and he was the only one who could appoint those who could use it, any person who uses magic and is considered 'unsuitable' for Priesthood has been in trouble."

"Why were you being followed?" asked the fire demon.

"King Enma decreed that it was fine to burn anyone who practiced 'unholy' magic. They were the people from my village, the ones I've grown up with," said Botan, deeply troubled. "I've known them my entire life! Long before Genkai started training me! They ignored everything we did until they got the priest; I guess we were just expendable." She sighed after she finished speaking, a deeply sad sound.

"It happens," said Hiei. Damn. He didn't do comforting; he had never been good with people. Especially not bubbly girls who talked too much. Especially not pretty girls with long blue hair who talked too much. _I think I'll just ignore that last thought..._ He said mentally. _She'll get better, leave, and things will be back to normal. No need to get attached. Why would I get attached in the first place? Emotions are weaknesses._ Even if he knew that wasn't true any more; he cared for his friends, that was emotion, it wasn't a weakness. _Face it, weak or not doesn't matter any more. I'm locked in this tower until King Enma can find a reason to kill me. Or an accident that might feasibly kill me..._

"I know..." sighed the girl, shoulders slumped forwards, tears beginning to form in melancholy purple eyes.

_Double damn._ Hiei walked, slower, this time, so she could see the movement (no need to frighten her again) to stand by the bed. He patted her awkwardly on the shoulder, increasingly uncomfortable as her tears started to fall. He could smell the salt in the air.

A (mostly) muffled snort in the window alerted their attention. Botan, tears still falling, turned to look; all she saw was a body outlined against the bright window; whoever it was had long hair. Other than that the person was just a black cut-out shape.

"Erm, good afternoon, Hiei. May I require who your visitor is?" asked the person, jumping to the floor, revealing himself to have absolutely gorgeous red hair, a gentle smile and green eyes with a spark of intensely curious gold in them.

"Uh, uhm, my name's Botan," she managed to get out, blushing heavily. Kurama had that affect on people, and he knew it. _I have that effect on people until they find out I'm not demon or human and even less natural than a hanyou,_ he thought.

_Another girl falling for the fox,_ thought Hiei, attempting to layer contempt into his mental voice. More importantly, he was trying to dismiss her out of hand for shallow behavior and stupidity. It wasn't working.

"Botan? A beautiful name. I'm Kurama. I bring Hiei his meals, every noon. It's very nice to meet you."

Mentally, to Hiei alone, using a link constructed for private conversations using the Jagan, he said **She's very beautiful, isn't she?** He was careful to keep his tone neutral.

Hiei refused to answer, instead glowering across the room at the kitsune.

**I knew you'd agree.**

The glare intensified to steps-away-from-killing-something,-specifically-**you **level.

"How did you find your way here?" Kurama said out loud.

"I, erm, was trying to escape from a mob."

Kurama raised an expressive eyebrow.

"I'm, uh, a witch. In training."

Botan was to the point where her blush was heavy enough it made her look like she was fluorescing neon red-pink.

"I would have thought that a person with access to so much power would have other things to be doing than sitting in a tower," said Kurama smoothly, scruples about making her feel comfortable being pushed away by the force of his curiosity.

"I used up too much energy last night, and now I'm completely drained," said the girl. "I can barely move. I think the priest had cast energy-drains on me, as well, because I'm not replenishing quickly enough." It looked almost like the next step in her blush would have to involve her bursting into flames.

**Would you go?** 'said' Hiei silently and pointedly. **She's going to combust otherwise.**

**She seems like a very nice person; you're in luck. I'm sure she'll make a lovely mate.**

Hiei snapped the mental link shut, blushing slightly, an extremely rare sight on the normally controlled demon.

_I'm surprised,_ thought Kurama. _His reactions are strong enough that he might actually like her. This could work out well. I'll have to see what happens..._

Out loud he said, "I'm afraid that I have to go now, but I will send somebody with some medicinal plants that should help later." _That will give Yusuke a chance to see what he thinks..._

He returned to the window, a branch reaching out to take his weight. "Um...?" asked Botan.

"Kurama has a kitsune spirit in a human body. He can control plants."

"Oh. He must be very lonely, then."

Hiei glanced over at her. That was a remarkably insightful comment, one that didn't match the non-stop-talker who had been so easily embarrassed by Kurama.

Botan noticed the glance and misinterpreted it as a 'what-the-hell-are-you-**thinking**?' glance instead of a 'I'm-startled-you're-that-perceptive' glance.

"I mean, he's sort of caught in the middle. Not human or demon. Sort of a half-demon, except not."

"Yes, that's right. He is... lonely." Hiei hadn't applied that term to him before, but once he said it he realized how accurate it was.

"That must be very hard."

"Yes." Hiei picked up the package Kurama had left, unnoticed, in the corner, opening it and liberating some bread, salted meat and a few leaves of oak-leaf lettuce. "You should eat something." He handed her the food, which Botan accepted happily. She formed a rough sandwich and began eating. Silence filled the small room.

(1) I'm afraid that I was unable to resist the image of Genkai as Baba Yaga... Special cookies to anyone who gets this reference!

**A/N**: Before anyone flames me for having an out-of-character Hiei, I'd like to point out a few details: this is an AU fic, and he doesn't have a hatred for humans as 'contemptible.' because, put simply, that just doesn't exist in this reality. He has also been close friends with Yusuke and Kurama during this period of time, who are either human or in a human body, and both of them are closely attached to humans. He's also been locked in a tower with virtually no human contact for just as long, which starts to affect anyone, no matter how independent, eventually. To put it simply, he's also lonely. Therefore, he wants to connect well with any and everyone he can.

Please honor this unworthy writer with your reviews.


	2. Realizations

**Captive, Chapter Two: Realizations**

**Disclaimer:** I own no Yu Yu Hakusho characters or ideas. This fic is inspired by RitSuYue and several fairy-tales, including Rapunzel, The Sun's Child, Baba Yaga and a multitude of other stories involving people locked in tunnels/towers/pits/rooms/underwater palaces. It is also inspired by the book Zel by Donna Jo Napoli, the Goddess of Rewritten Fairytales. Go read her books!

**A/N**: Special congratulations to everyone who got the reference! For those who didn't, Baba Yaga is character from Russian folk tales; she's very old, has iron teeth, eats lost children and lives in a house on chicken legs with a fence built out of the bones of her victims. She travels around in a mortar and pestle, (one of those things people use in the kitchen to mush things up,) sitting in the mortar and pushing herself off the ground with the pestle. Baba Yaga is one of my favorite mythological figures EVER! Her and Loki, even if he's eventually very evil. And Hephaestus. Along with Hermes and Artemis! Okay, and Ganesha. And the Beast from Beauty and the Beast. And Athena! And of course demons of all kinds! In case nobody's noticed, I love mythology! Lots and lots and lots!

After her meal Botan fell asleep again, energy obviously still low. _Baka onna,_ thought Hiei. _She should have known her limits better._

He sat in his window, restless. Normally he would be training in the little space he had right now—there was an extra room below this one, the only other room; it was bare except for a small closed-off space for a privy. He didn't want to leave the girl alone, though, if only because he didn't want her to find out his 'other' persona as the Forbidden Child, mass-murderer, which she would if she saw him training; only one demon in this country used a katana and had scarlet eyes. One or the other, but never both. He definitely would keep the using-a-sword part hidden. Not because he cared, he told himself, but because he didn't want to deal with a girl in hysterics because of who he was. Who he had been.

Hiei knew that nearly everyone would react that way to him. He was known for a lot of crimes: murder, mass killings, theft on a large scale, pyromaniacism. Horrible, inhuman acts, more than he could remember... It had all blended together in his mind. For a long time he had reveled in the blood he shed, smirked at the stench of death in the air.

He was the Forbidden Child: he had been cast out of the holy floating island of the Koorime, cursed because of events he had had no control over. His birth. He had been marked as evil since his conception. His very existence was a blot on the Koorime existence. (1) And he had never been loved. Never been cared for. And why should he care about the world that he had been cast into? He should at least deserve his status as a child born of sin, destined to be worse than his beginnings.

So he had taken his revenge against the world, and laughed, bitterly, at the Koorime cringing as they watched from above. People spoke of them as Goddesses, powerful and perfect, but he knew better.

Nobody knew he was part Koorime. Part god. They just knew him as a monster who had terrorized the country, then disappeared because of the actions of King Enma. That Koorime blood had been the reason he was imprisoned... Enma feared that he would lead the people to revolt, rise up against him, his blood making him the center of a revolution.

It always came back to that Koorime heritage.

He no longer lived for killing. He no longer felt the need to satisfy his cold, ice-sharp anger with death. He had had... A long time to think, locked in this tower. A long and lonely time. He had found a hard peace, inside of him. A bitter reason. By facing his anger, he had come to understand.

The Koorime were so desperate to hate him because of their failing strength. They needed the assurance of their powers, the prayers that kept them convinced that their power was still strong within them, not weakened by time and delusions.

They needed to believe they were more than they were, and any perceived weakness couldn't last; they were killing themselves through their desperation.

The people and demons on the solid Earth, the people who had cast him out when he had first fallen (no, he had been pushed...) to the ground had hated him because there was nobody else to hate. He was merely a convenient scapegoat...

Their attempted lynching had been the start of his murders.

But... He thought he understood them now. It was a bitter peace, but it was still peace.

He hated everyone who had been unfair, on some level; not a conscious one, but on some level he hated, and on some level he knew he hated. He understood motives, and understood why just killing everything that crossed his path wouldn't work, even if he wasn't captured, the way he was...

It was an odd mix of yearning and self-hate when he thought of his past. He had been free, back then, even if he felt a strange guilt for all the destruction he'd caused. Now... Now everything was useless conjecture to appease his mind alone; he was incased in this tower, unable to escape. It didn't matter now what he thought of his past, and killing people, the Koorime who had cast him out, his imprisonment. What was done was done.

At some point in his inner debate he had started pacing. Botan had woken up as well.

"Deep thoughts?" she asked him.

"Hn."

Botan looked affronted. "Hmmph," she huffed. Hiei pointedly ignored her.

"This tower's so high..." pondered the girl, mostly to herself. "It feels almost like it floats."

_Ironic_, thought Hiei. _I escape one floating prison for another, even if one's only a prison metaphorically speaking and one only floats in a metaphorical sense._

He was careful to keep his face empty, blank.

"You must like your privacy to live so far out in the middle of nowhere, in a tower without a door," said Botan.

_If she knew..._ Thought Hiei. Fortunately she didn't; her comment had proved it. He was infamous for everything he had caused, and... somehow the thought of Bota--_the onna--_hating him, even if it was deserved, somehow hurt.

He knew it was easier to become attached to something named. It would be easier in the long run if he didn't grow attached to Botan. The onna. Baka onna.

He tried to keep on telling himself that...

Botan watched with slight concern as her words seemed to send her host into a daze. "Ummm... Hiei? Excuse me? Are you alright?"

Her words seemed to snap him back to reality. "Hmn. Fine." He gave her a slight glare, to discourage the line of inquiry. It had nothing at all do with forcing her away from him. Nope, nothing.

The glare was frightening enough to make Botan feel like edging against the wall.

_He's certainly... intense..._ she thought.

The awkward situation (Botan freaked out, Hiei struggling emotionally and trying to push Botan away,) was interrupted by the arrival of another person at the window.

"Hey, Hiei!" said a loud and sort of instinctually annoying voice.

"Yusuke," said Hiei, monotone.

The boy jumped off the window into the room, glancing quickly around at it. He didn't fail to notice the blue-haired girl with purple-pink eyes in Hiei's bed.

"Well," smirked the boy. "Looks like the Forbidden Child's got a girl in his bed after all..." He trailed off suggestively.

Yusuke's off-hand comment set off a chain reaction he certainly hadn't foreseen. He had expected blushes, a frantic explanation, denial, threats from Hiei, maybe.

Botan's eyes widened as the sentence registered. Puzzle pieces clicked into place. The locked-away tower in a remote area. Demon. Red eyes. No door, meals delivered. A bandanna covering his forehead, where a third eye would be...

_**Damn,** _thought Yusuke. _She didn't know…_

Panic set in. Botan could feel her breath, harsh in her throat, her pulse beating wildly. The Forbidden Child... She knew what he had done; It had been years since he had disappeared—been locked in this tower, **this very tower!**—but she had heard stories, seen long-lost limbs, scars, people disfigured by terrible burns. She had left flowers on the fields of graves, when there was nobody left in the family, neighborhood or town to leave them.

She was sitting in his bed, had eaten his food.

_I'm going to die... God, I don't want to die, I'm not ready..._

Hiei watched as her eyes widened with panic and horror; he could hear her breathing heighten, her heartbeat pick up, her face blank with the shock. A simultaneously sharp and dull pain throbbed in the pit of his stomach, a responsive hurt near the vicinity of his heart. A single breath came out as a near-silent sob of pain.

It was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back, concrete proof cementing together a conglomeration built of guilt, pain and loneliness in equal parts, and now this stabbing painful hurt...

Slowly, carefully he approached the girl, feeling this inexplicable need to comfort her...

Botan's eyes snapped to him as he approached. Wild, chaotic panic danced in them, making them fever-bright. He reached out a hand, though he was too far away to touch her, and the girl _flinched_ away from him. Instinct (2) and an innate sense of self-preservation kept her from bolting, or trying, but Hiei could see her shaking heavily.

Hiei dropped his hand and backed away, his own breath coming faster with the intensity of this emotional pain... It shouldn't hurt this much. She was just another girl, another panicked person who thought they were the next victim. She shouldn't matter this much after just a few days...

"I'll deal with it; you go down to the second floor," whispered Yusuke. Hiei nodded once, instinctively keeping on the stone mask that blanketed his expressions. He supposed that he no longer had any reason to hide his emotions, but it was an automatic response now, especially when his emotions could be conceived as a weakness.

As Hiei opened the stone hatch leading to the second floor Yusuke slowly walked over to the girl, hoping that his very definitely normal appearance would calm her down. Sitting down next to her on the bed he put a comforting hand on her shoulder, patting it gently as Botan's panic receded, offering silent support. Yusuke Urameshi wasn't the brightest thing on two legs (or four...) but he knew what to do in this situation, at least.

Eventually Botan's breathing returned to normal, her eyes taking on something at least fairly close to their typical bright spark.

"Hiei is the Forbidden Child?" she asked, eyes steady as they looked into Yusuke's.

He nodded an affirmative.

Botan frowned, unconsciously biting at her lower lip as she thought. Yusuke was very tempted to tell her she looked unbelievably sexy, did she have a guy yet? but resisted, partly because of the situation and partly because of the sheer unadulterated bloodlust, all targeted at him if he thought any more about it **at all**, coming through the mental link Hiei had opened up between them.

"And he was imprisoned here by King Enma."

Another nod.

"You and Kurama are his wardens?"

"Yes and no..." said Yusuke, speaking for the first time.

There was a few moments of silence.

"What am I missing?" asked Botan, eyes sharp.

"Good question," said Yusuke approvingly.

Hiei felt a rush of relief. Maybe... there was a chance... that she wouldn't hate him, fear him... He crushed that hope. He would spend a week or so on the floor Botan wasn't on as she healed, helped by Kurama and Yusuke, before she would leave, happy to leave him behind. Soon he would be a bad memory, a real-life nightmare, and nothing more. Not... human (3). Never a person.

**Hiei? What can I tell'er?** sent Yusuke mentally.

**Everything,** said Hiei after a moment of hesitation, attempting to sound firm in his decision. The mental words came out almost like a question.

"Hiei... Is part Koorime," began Yusuke. Botan's eyes widened considerably. "He was thrown of the floating island of the Koorime because of his birth: his mother was Koorime but his father was a fire demon. He was named the Forbidden Child, a child of taboo, and thrown off the island when he was only a few years old. He had barely landed in this country before he was attacked by a mob... They were the first people he killed. You'll have to ask him why he killed all of the others.

"The rest of his years when he was famous you know and've heard about." Botan nodded, an unneeded confirmation. "Finally he was captured by King Enma and imprisoned here in this tower; Enma didn't want to kill him and risk angering the Koorime, and he didn't want Hiei to use his Koorime blood to cause a rebellion. He settled for locking Hiei up in a castle in a remote forest, heavily protected with warding spells and completely isolated.

"I've known Hiei for... Years, now. He's one of the few friends I've ever had." Yusuke gave a mental check and firmly closed the mental link. Hiei let it lie closed.

"I'm going be frank here," said Yusuke, voice low and fast. "Hiei's lonely, more than he realizes. He's scared of people and how they see him—everyone in his life has hated him, from the Koorime to this entire country, until he met Kurama, and then me—and he's afraid of how people see him. Worse, he's too... Resigned. He doesn't believe he has a reason to live, doesn't think anything will change, thinks his entire life's been ended and this is just time to reflect on mistakes he'll never get to fix. It scares the shit out of me, Botan."

"Why are you telling me?" asked the girl, voice troubled. Conflicted.

"...Because I think he loves you," said Yusuke with a defeated sigh.

(1) Yukina probably won't be in this, just for simplicity's sake. If anyone **really** wants her included, tell me in a review and I'll consider it. At this point in time, Hiei has no idea she exists. Maybe after Hiei/Botan romanceness occurs.

(2) The way I figure it, demons are just so much more physically capable than humans that any fight-or-flight instinct would be useless; instead, the most likely to survive in the genetic pool would be the ones that hid. Therefore, humans in this AU hold still when they're threatened. It all comes down to genetics... MiGod, I'm talking about genetics and demons and how they affect each other, in the footnotes of a fanfiction no less, aren't I?

(3) There are no good words synonymous with 'humanity' that work for races other than human. The person who designed the language **obviously** didn't think it through... I mean, demonity just doesn't work, does it?

**A/N**: What a terrible place to end! I'm such a mean author. .:sigh:. But this chapter was lots of fun to write and I know **exactly** what to write next so the next update should be soon!

**Please read and review! I won't know what to improve on if you don't tell me!**

Thank you so much to all my UNBELIEVABLY MARVELOUS REVIEWERS!

**Shout-Outs**:

Vindiya: Well, thank you very much! And I completely and totally understand your comment about most writers making Hiei terribly un-Hieiish... I'm glad you think I have him in-character!

Hiei's Ice Maiden: All of your misspellings are forgiven! I do it too, so it's completely understood. I'm very glad you like my story so much! Thank you very much for reviewing!

Robin Autumn: Good guess! I'm pretty sure that yes, Baba was the Turtle Hermits' sister, but DBZ tends to borrow stuff from other sources, so you caught a reference instead of the original! So close! Anyways, I'm very glad you like my story! Thank you for reviewing!

ellamr: Your English is very good if you're still just learning! Thank you for reviewing!

Fudge Cake a la mode: Go Kurama fan-girls! I'm very glad you thought I had him in-character. Thanks for the review!

BlueGreenGrey: I'm glad you like it! I'm doing my best to update soon!

Asanisan: Well, I think I said everything I had to say in my email to you, so thank you again for taking the time to tell me what you thought of my story! I always think reviews offering advice on where to improve are the most complimentary! Again, thank you!

Anya Observian: Very close to what I've heard! About Baba Yaga, that is. Isn't she so cool? Like I said, one of my most favorite mythological characters ever! Thank you very much for reading and reviewing!

Dargarent: Thank you for reviewing! I'm very glad you like my story; I hope you continue to do so!

Aiiro-bara: Cute? Really? .:is very cheerful and happy:. It's nice to see one of my favorite return reviewers find another one of my stories! Thank you!

Miss Kyoshi: I'm very glad you like my story so much! Thank you for fav-and-c2ing it! Good job, going and doing research!

Shoujo Bat: I'm very glad you like it! I did my very best to update soon; I hope you like this chapter just as much!

RitSuYue: I'm very glad that you (the inspiration of all this!) like this fic! I have to say, I'm having LOADS of fun with it, although I'm not being the good girl I should and starting the romance off to a slow start... I guess I can only be patient on one fic at a time. .:smirk:. Thanks for the review! I hope you like this chapter too! (Heh... That rhymes!)


	3. Understanding

A/N: Do I believe in love at first sight? No. Do I believe in people _falling _in love at first sight? Yes, and I believe that those people and those relationships might grow into true love.

Just a thought for this chapter; this story in general, actually. .:grin:.

**Disclaimer:** Let me put it this way: Do Hiei and Botan act hideously out of character and proclaim their undying love for each other in Yu Yu Hakusho? No. Does it have an interesting and dynamic non-romantic plot line? Yes. Can I draw? **Hell** no. To put it bluntly: Do I own Yu Yu Hakusho? No. Just... no.

_Last Chapter_:

_"...Because I think he loves you," said Yusuke with a defeated sigh."_

_Now_:

"**Eh**?" managed Botan.

Yusuke remained silent.

"Why would you think that?" she questioned further. "Is it because he didn't kill me?"

"He no longer kills," said Yusuke flatly. "Did you see him walk towards you when you panicked? Did you see the pain on his face when you flinched away from him? He fed you. Watched over you. Cared for you."

"But..."

"Just think about it."

"..."

"**Just think it over**."

"...Uh... What do you mean you and Kurama aren't exactly his wardens?"

"Kurama works as Koenma's gardener, and I'm Crown Prince Koenma's whipping boy. (1) Kurama's supposed to bring him his meals—everyone else is supposed to stay away from the forest and this tower especially, with him the only exception—but they became close friends. Neither will exactly admit it... I just found my way here and come to visit him."

Botan thought, her mind obviously busy, troubled, churning, struggling to wrap itself around so many difficult new concepts.

"I have to get going now. HIEI! Get up here! I need to go and want you two to work it out! Don't avoid it, be honest, try not to be scary! I know you can do it, shrimp!"

Before either person involved could say anything Yusuke was gone.

Hiei hesitated at the bottom of the ladder that led up to the upper floor.

Botan hesitated, pushing herself off of the bed. A distant part of her mind noticed that now she could move herself slightly, today. Soon she should be able to stand. Energy draining was severe and then it was gone.

Hiei hesitated for a moment more before climbing back up to the main floor.

He expected panicked screaming, revulsion, disgust, hate.

It's what he deserved, after all.

He couldn't stop a slight cringe, invisible to the girl on the bed, as he anticipated her reaction.

The silence remained, with no reaction, not even a break in her steady breathing.

Hiei turned his eyes up from the floor to gaze at her, looking at him steadily, if nervously, from across the word. He could see she was tense, eyeing him warily, but she was not panicked. Confusion seeped into his mind as he began to process it... _No fear? Why?_

She was scared, though, just not wildly, panickedly. She was being... cautious. Careful. Sensible. Common sense had overtaken her gut reaction, but Hiei knew better than to imagine that she would ever move beyond wary toleration. He knew that the common sense that had stopped the panic would always see the stupidity in ever trusting a mass-murderer... No, he knew better than to think that. It had happened before...

He wrenched his mind away from his spiraling thoughts as Botan drew in a slightly larger breath, about to speak.

"...You are the Forbidden Child."

The cold statement hurt. "Yes." His mask was firmly in place; he would keep himself out of any more trouble than he was already in for; he had let it slip more than it should have.

Botan started slightly at the cold tone he answered her statement with. He looked nearly... Lonely? Yes, and troubled by her statement.

"W... Would it be okay if I still call you Hiei?"

A brief nod was her only answer.

_He would not get attached. He would not permit himself to care for her._

No, never again. Never, never again.

That hurt enough that he knew that he had already failed.

He had had...years to think over his actions, an endless monotony broken only by the visits of Kurama, Yusuke, Yukina and... and...

He had had years of only his own thoughts.

Vaguely Hiei noticed that his confused thoughts were creating an uncomfortable silence. Maybe Botan would take it as avoidance, another reason to leave him to his own devices... As long as she was no longer panicked in his presence he could live with himself. Not that he had any other choice... It was a disturbingly painful option, but one he could accept. One he would have to...

And after all, she only wanted to continue calling him by his name because it wouldn't remind her of who he was. Had been.

A sudden movement caught his attention and he snapped back to reality to see Botan attempting to lower herself back onto the bed, her arms beginning to shake as her weight grew too much for them; while she was beginning to recovering, she was nowhere near healthy yet.

Her efforts proved too much and she collapsed, half-on and half-off of the bed. Her body cringed against the expected impact with the cold stone floor, but it never came. A few seconds after when the impact should have been she opened her reflexively closed eyes to find herself held off of the floor. She relaxed against the warm body holding her, a sigh of relief shushing out of her. A few seconds later her brain supplied the information that had been missing: that Hiei had caught her, and that **yes,** he **was **the Forbidden Child.

Paradoxically, she was surprised about how calmly she realized it. In fact, it was almost as if she didn't react at all... There was something intrinsically comforting and protecting about the warm body she was pressed against; later she would wonder why he was warmer than a human would be. The energy from her adrenaline rush had worn off, and she was still inordinately tired from the escape from her own personal lynch mob, and she supposed that that was some of the reason she felt so relaxed. Botan resisted the urge to snuggle into Hiei and allowed him to deposit her safely onto the bed.

She supposed that she would be slightly disturbed by her lack of reaction later on.

"Thanks," she murmured as she lay back onto the bed. Her eyelids felt heavier than they should, drifting closed... Botan's last thought before she fell asleep was to realize that Hiei hadn't taken up his customary perch on the window-ledge above her bed. It made her hurt, in a strange way...

Hiei was... Confused. Nearly angry.

She had been so trusting, nearly falling asleep in his arms...

He watched her swiftly drift into sleep from the other side of the room, leaning against the unforgiving stone blocks of the wall. He ignored the window sill, his normal vantage point; his nearness would only increase her edginess, the last thing he wanted, and, somehow... Somehow, it didn't seem right to sit there, when it was the farthest away from the tower he could get, the closest he could get to free.

He knew he deserved his punishment.

Still... She hadn't pushed away from him when he caught her. She had seemed nearly happy, cradled in his arms, content and lazily satisfied... It had seemed like she was almost asleep, that she had trusted him enough to do that...

He pushed the thoughts away, shaking them off both mentally and physically. _No. Never again. **No one will love you**._

He slipped into a nearly meditative state—long hours with nothing to do had required him to learn how—and slowly, by degrees, slipped into sleep.

Both Hiei and Botan awoke at the sound of Kurama's slight cough, as he stood, another package of food in hand, just outside the windowsill, balanced on a branch, politely waiting for someone to invite him inside.

"Mmmph... Wha?" muttered Botan sleepily as she struggled upright from under the heavy blankets she was covered with. Hiei noted that she made it all the way up, and fairly easily; energy draining hit hard and fast, but wasn't long-lasting.

"Fox." said Hiei in greeting, not very gracefully.

The boy gracefully leapt inside the room, happy to have finally been noticed; it would be rude to merely enter without permission, and he had chores to get too still. Despite that, his curiosity wouldn't allow him to leave; he had heard some of what had happened between Hiei and Botan from Yusuke, but not all, and not what had happened once he'd left.

"How are you doing, Botan?" he asked, doing his level best to keep the curiosity out of his voice.

Botan paused for a second, collecting her thoughts. "Better, actually. I can sit up now," there was a slight amount of surprise in her voice, as if she was just noticing she could as well.

"Wonderful," said Kurama warmly. Mentally, to Hiei, he said **What happened?**

Kurama had to forcefully keep himself from wincing as Hiei flashed through the welter of forceful, frighteningly vivid emotions that had flashed through his mind, all compressed into a few instants and overlaid with the events that had occurred. He couldn't help but notice, though, that Botan had responded in a remarkedly positive way; she was more uneasy around him, now that the shock had worn off, but she wasn't panicked, she wasn't overly wary. Her reaction when Hiei had caught her seemed to reflect that she wasn't subconsciously frightened of him, at least, and there was the basis for more there... And he certainly had a vested interest in **any** potential for romance involving Hiei.

**What do you plan to do? ** he asked the half-koorime.

There was a bleak, desperate hopelessness to the silence.

**She doesn't seemed frightened of you, you know. In fact, judging by how she reacted when you caught her, I'd be inclined to think the opposite, or at least that there's the potential for that. My guess would be that it's shock that made her react the way she did, and that once she's had time to think it over she'll make a different, and more rational, decision. After all, you didn't offer her any harm before.**

Kurama felt the tiniest hint of hope begin to blossom in Hiei before the link was suddenly cut short. The fire-demon glared at him from across the room. Kurama offered a bland smile in return.

Botan watched this non-verbal exchange with confusion. What had happened? She was still fuzzy from just waking up... Maybe she had missed something. Oh well, too late now. She stretched underneath the covers, luxuriating in their warmth. How long had she been asleep for, anyways? From the feel of it, past lunch. Breakfast. Some meal, anyways.

"Excuse me?" she said. She immediately was the center of attention. Botan couldn't help blushing slightly. "May I please have something to eat? I seem to have missed breakfast."

"Ah... Of course," said Kurama, mentally berating himself for forgetting something like that, while Hiei, generally confused, slipped back into his mental wanderings: he was wondering, rather hopelessly, why she had no signs of panic, or even fear, **at all** and whether there was any chance, no matter how slight, that Kurama might be right.

Botan snuck a slightly nervous glance at Hiei. While he was always quiet, and always kept his emotions carefully under control, the extremity to this... _blankness_ was unnerving.

She accepted the food Kurama handed her murmuring a polite word of thanks before beginning to eat.

"I'm afraid I have to go now," said Kurama apologetically. More quietly, for Hiei's ears alone, he added, "Think about what I said." Then he was out the window and gone, leaving silence in his wake.

Botan finished eating and sighed, slumping against the wall. _I'm so **confused!** Hiei--the Forbidden Child--what do I believe? He was certainly nice enough, during the time I was here, even though I fell through his window, took his bed, intruded on his privacy... Quiet and antisocial somewhat, yes, but kind. Patient. He caught me when I fell... And then what Yusuke told me. He... loves me? The Forbidden Child? But... If I think about it... Years, entirely alone except for occasional visits from two friends, with only his thoughts... He'd be so **lonely**. Years... It would make sense that he's changed, yes? Because he's not a mass-murderer anymore. There's Yusuke and Kurama and... and... Me. He has friends, now, and Yusuke **did** say he was lonely. He never threatened me, tried to keep who he 'really' was hidden. Yes, I think it's safe to say he's no longer who he was. But... Who is he now?_

_I do not fear him, for whatever reason. Once the shock wore off, anyways. When he caught me when I fell, the fact that I had a mass-murderer, the single most feared person in our world, holding me didn't frighten me. True, I was tired, but wouldn't that make me panic more? ...I suppose it's true, then, my subconscious mind is more rational than I am..._

_Either way, what's done is done, and over-all he seems like a... **nice** person, if you can call a taciturn fire demon 'nice.' I don't feel threatened, either way. And it's pointless, because I'm here either way, until I recover._

_And there's certainly worse people to be stuck with, I suppose... He hasn't harmed me in any way, even though I'm a young, fairly attractive (if I must say so myself) teenage girl who's barely capable of movement, let alone self-protection..._

_And I missed him when he abandoned his perch at the window ledge for the other side of the room._

This was her last thought before she fell, suddenly and unexpectedly, asleep.

Hiei looked up from his moody and unproductive brooding some unspecified time later to see that Botan had fallen asleep, again, in a half-sitting position. Padding silently across the floor he paused by the bed, hesitating slightly. Before he let any more doubts grow in his mind (Should he touch her at all? What if she woke up and saw him? But, after all, that looked like a painful way to sleep, even for him...) he carefully shifted her, mindful not to jolt her enough that she would wake up. When he let go of her, attempting to back away, he found that Botan had somehow managed to attach herself to his wrist, curling around his hand as he watched.

Hiei couldn't help a small smile at the slightly silly gesture; it was almost as if she was clutching at a favorite teddy-bear.

He spent that night on the window sill, after moving her grasp to his ankle. Botan would wake up the next morning never knowing what had happened.

(1) The practice of a whipping boy was employed somewhen in someplace in Europe, probably England, when you weren't allowed to strike royalty; as a result, a non-noble child was beaten in place of the prince. He was known as the whipping boy.

**A/N**: Okay, never mind chapter two's author note, Yukina will have a role in this fic, even if it's only alluded to as the distant past.

Cookies (even if only hypothetical ones) to anyone who uses 'miasma' in a review! Maybe a one-shot if it's used really well! Assuming you want it.

Whooo! Guess who's started taking Japanese!

Sorry for the lateness of the update; I've started high school so my updates will be fewer and farther between. Sorry people, but fanfiction comes after geometry.

**Shout-Outs!**

omasuoniwabanshi: I was exceptionally happy to find that you've reviewed this story as well! I do believe I mentioned everything in my email, so consider this just a repetition of my thank-yous. Thank you!

DudettRin101: Thanks for the review! I'm doing my best to put out updates as fast as possible!

ellamr: Thank **you** for reviewing! Thank you very much, in fact!

Vindiya: Thank you for reviewing! The support of people like you is what keeps me going. .:grins:.

BlueGreenGray: Ooooo, warm fluffy feelings, one of the best things in existence! I'm glad my story helped cause them in you! Don't worry, I'm updating as much as possible!

ElementalDragon1: Here is more of what's going to happen! I hope you enjoy it! Thanks for reviewing!

RitSuYue: I'm having loads of fun putting everyone into a role that's suitable for their canon past, especially Hiei. It translates remarkably well… Anyways, I'm especially glad that **you**, the inspiration for this, like it! I hope you continue to!

Shoujo Bat: Your review was wonderful to get! Truly inspirational. I hope you continue to enjoy my writing! And don't worry, I don't abandon stories this way, that way and willy-nilly!

Robin Autumn: Thanks for reviewing! Both mythology and fairytales (if you read the right ones they can be remarkable similar, only fairytales tend to be more violent…) have always been some of my favorite things, so it's been great getting to write this story. The cats of Egypt really are some of my favorites, too! As to actual review-related material, I think it's too early for any love to occur, too, but that's not going to stop me. I'm being patient in my other current story and the one I finished, so this is my way to get it out of my system. .:is childish too:.

Aiiro-bara: .:giggles and joins in the singing:. Hiei's in denial! Hiei's in denial! And no, I like rambling reviews, no matter how much it undermines their point. .:grins:. Thank you for reviewing!


	4. Peace

**Captive **

**Chapter Four: Peace**

By Dreaming of Everything

**A/N**: I have given in to temptation.

In other news, I have been sick a lot. First with a cold, then with strep throat. That, along with homework, personal loss and a dip in self-confidence has slowed down my writing. The rest of the years' predictions are for scattered showers of self-doubt and sporadic updates in the late evenings.

**Disclaimer**: The poems "_A Passing Glimpse_" and "_Bond and Free_" are not mine. Any and all YYH characters are not mine. The writing and plot are mine, and I would like people to ask before they borrow. I'd say something about archiving, but it's definitely a moot point right now.

**This chapter dedicated to Alfred D., 1912-2005. Forever in my memories.**

_Heaven gives it's glimpses only to those_

_Not in position to look too close._

_--A Passing Glimpse, Robert Frost_

Botan woke up slowly, drifting out of sleep softly, gently. She pulled herself upright, yawning deeply, before looking around the room. She didn't see Hiei at first, until she turned around, to find him watching her, face impassive, early-morning light (the sun had just barely risen) glinting off of his emotionless eyes.

She offered him a sleepy smile and a cheery, if tired, good-morning by way of greeting. Slightly nervous, she realized she was subconciously waiting for his reaction, to see how he had reinterpreted the strange relationship between them.

How would he react to her, now that she knew his secret?

How was she going to react, for that matter? She supposed it was too late now.

Hiei was reevaluating, again, his thoughts on the confusing girl that had fallen into his life. She had greeted him, and happily, with no nervousness at all, after clinging to him, or at least his foot, half the night. This wasn't the wary reserve he expected. Deserved.

He found himself in a near-constant state of confusion around the onna, but somehow he couldn't resent her intrusion into his life. No matter how badly it ended, at least she had seemed to enjoy his company. For those few days.

More than he deserved.

And Botan herself. Chased down by the people who had raised her, all of them with murder on their minds, then finding herself caught up in the life of unresponsive demon, then finding out that he was the most-feared individual in the entire country. It hurt to think of the pain that would cause her. He could do nothing more than allow her to leave, to find a new life. One she deserved. Leaving him to his verdict, another eternity alone and feared, until Enma found a way to kill him.

The way it should be. No matter how painful for him, as long as Botan found the happiness she deserved.

Botan was slightly off-put by the silence; while Hiei was quiet at best and stone-cold-silent at worst, he at least always acknowledged her greetings. Had she offended him somehow? She remembered the night before, how she had sought confirmation that he was the Forbidden Child, and the hurt in his response. Was he still angry? Was it something else?

...And she remembered the faces of the villagers she had known for her whole life as they chased after her, seeking to kill her. To burn her alive, because she was a witch. Hated, feared and ostracized, but tolerated, because they needed her. Had needed her. Enma's Priests had provided an alternate supply, and the removal of her demand had made her instantly expendable.

All those years, all counting for nothing. It was a hard thought to bear.

And she could understand Hiei, somewhat, if she thought about it like that. He was considered even more of a curse than she was, so that there was nobody for him.

_So... **Lonely**,_ she thought again. More so than she was, than she would ever be.

She was just another person who had panicked when faced with his past, even though she knew him and he had never offered her any harm.

That thought hurt her, maybe as much as the betrayal of her village. A stabbing pain compared to a dull ache.

She looked up again to meet his eyes as the clouds of thought cleared from them. Melancholic lilac met inscrutable red.

"I'm sorry," said Botan quietly.

"There's nothing to be sorry for," said Hiei in response, shifting his gaze so he wouldn't have to look at her.

There was a moment of heavy silence.

_I guess he is angry, for whatever reason,_ thought Botan sadly, noticing how he had broken the eye contact.

"...I... I apologize as well." Botan looked up from her hands, which she was carefully studying, startled.

"Why?" Her response was nearly whispered.

"For..." _A lifetime. Being there, and plunging you into this. For hurting you..._ "...everything."

"No!" came her response, louder than she meant it to be, startling him into looking at her again. Her voice was passionate, insistent. "Don't apologize for that. I am **glad** I met you! You were never anything other than decent to me, and it was my own silly fault I panicked instead of thinking things through like a rational individual. I liked your company! I was... happy..." She trailed off, biting her lip, fighting off tears.

When she looked up again, her sight slightly blurred, she found Hiei looking at her with an almost painfully open face, confusion and hope and fear tangled together in his expression. He made as if to say something, stopped, swallowed hard. His eyes remained fixed on her.

She lowered her head again, wrapping her arms around her legs, curling up around herself.

A cautious touch barely brushed her hand as she began to sob, silently, for so many painful reasons. It wasn't fair that Hiei believed so firmly that he deserved his sentence! That he was who he was, because he wasn't, anymore. That he would never really live again, outside of the cold stone and burning wards of his prison.

Hiei couldn't help but reach out to her, offering what little comfort he could.

She looked up for a moment, asking for permission, before grasping the offered hand and clinging to it as a final lifeline while she cried herself out.

A while later her sobs had quieted, and she recognized the slight depression of the matress next to her as her companion sitting beside her.

"...Thank you..." she sighed, drying her eyes. She didn't relinquish her hold on his hand, purposely ignoring it.

"Why?" asked the demon beside her.

"Why not? You were there for me, you cared, you offered help. And..." She broke off, unsure if she should continue. "I think I might understand how you feel." Her words began to come faster, more hurried and insistent, more embarrassed. "The hurt, and the loneliness, because I think it's what I'm feeling, and... I can't see the Forbidden Child in you. **You** regret what you've done.

"And then there was Yusuke and Kurama, and how they were so worried about you. There was the way you would help me, would always catch me, would be there for me, even though I barely knew you. I felt comfortable around you, at ease, even though I had just met you, and even when my concious mind was still processing the shock. And... It hurt, when I realized that I had hurt you when I flinched away from you when I... found out."

Botan blushed heavily, looking still more determinedly at her knees. She made no move to remove her hand from Hiei's.

Hiei hesitated, and felt an impossible hope grow in his mind. Somehow, this time, he couldn't quite find the spirit to crush it. Not this time: maybe because it had happened too many times before, both before and after he had met Botan, and maybe because this time meant more.

He was both pointedly ignoring and excruciatingly aware of his continued contact with Botan, and the way she had made no move to remove her hand from his.

The hypnotic silence began to draw the words from him, in a long-needed flood of release.

"I... Deserve my fate. I killed... more people than I can remember. More than anyone knows. I have no doubt you've seen the graves and heard the stories. There is no excuse; there is also no excuse to allow me to go free again. I cannot... fix what I've broken, but I can at least accept my punishment. Suffer, to relive their suffering, as much as I can.

"And I am... lonely. And that is part of it, and I know that nobody will ever lo--want to spend time around me, and I know that I will never escape, and that keeps me from finding out if I could inforce my punishments on myself.

"Somehow, though, I couldn't help but enjoy your company. Couldn't quite make myself remove you from my life. Partly because you were hurt, and needed my help, partly because there was nothing I could do about the situation, and partly because you were so kind. You treated me like a person. Like someone worthy of respect.

"But then you found out my true self. It... hurt so _badly_ to see you afraid of me. To see you verify, again, everything I knew. Because some part of me still hoped you would forgive me, even though I couldn't forgive myself.

"But then you acted like you always had, and that hurt too, because it was what I wanted, but it only fed the hope that I couldn't live with. If I hoped, then I would be disappointed, and I can only take... so much pain. And you would leave, and you should: you should live a good life, but some selfish part of me wanted you to stay. That hurt as well...

"I can't understand why you would want to spend time around me, and I can't help but start hoping again, even though that hurts too, but somehow... I think I'm happy that this happened. No matter how much it ends up hurting."

Hiei looked away in turn, his own eyes inexplicably welling with tears, and he noticed with some alarm that Botan was crying again.

"**No one** deserves that. No matter what they did. No matter what you did. **I** think you deserve something better." There was a quiet conviction to her words that brooked no argument. "Even if no one else does--and I think Kurama and Yusuke do--I care what happens to you. I want to see you happy. I wouldn't be who I am if I left you to live my own life, and I couldn't live it happily if I did. I don't think I couldnt live with myself. I am... your friend, now, I think," Botan glanced at Hiei for confirmation, "and would like to spend more time with you. I enjoy your company as well, but it shouldn't..._hurt_. I'm not going to just leave you--at the least I'll come and visit--and you should hope more. You should... do your best to live again. I would be sad, being happy while you suffered." She had a bittersweet smile on her face.

Confusion filled Botan's thoughts, filling them with confusion. _Does Hiei love me? Yusuke said he thought he might._

_Maybe... Maybe he does. At least he... he likes me._

_And... I like him. It hurts me to think of him hurting, even more when it's because of me. I want to spend time around him, be around him. I'm... comfortable around him. Even though I know what he's done. Even though I hardly know him, I feel like I understand him. Like I do know him. Funny how I'm just realizing this, how I said it, and meant it, without really knowing it. I... I..._

_What do I think of Hiei?_

_...How quickly can someone fall in love?_

Botan refocused on reality to find Hiei looking at her, and his eyes caught on hers. She grasped the hand holding hers a little tighter, needing the contact.

"Would... Would it be okay if I hugged you?" Botan felt the words leave her mouth and immediately wished she could draw them back. It was almost as if the filters for what she wanted to say and what common sense dictated she say had broken down today. She gave a quick glance to Hiei and saw him nod once, startled, before quickly looking away, then edging close enough that she could wrap him in her arms. She felt him stiffen for a moment before relaxing and, awkwardly, return the embrace.

Again Botan felt a relaxed peace in his arms, surrounded by his inhuman warmth, the rise and fall of his breathing, the counter-beat of his heart and the smell scent of him, all winter air, ashes, pine and a warm, human smell uniquely his. She pressed her face into his chest, feeling the prickle of drying tears on her face, feeling safe. It gave her a strange courage, and she found a way to voice the words she needed to say.

"I... I think I love you..."

Hiei wrapped his arms tighter around her, a wordless communication.

"...I might too."

She could feel his voice surrounding her, somewhere between auditory and tactile.

They stayed that way for a while, each awkwardly holding the other, needing some little comfort, anything.

Maybe it wasn't so little, in the end.

_Love has earth to which she clings_

_With hills and circling arms about--_

_Wall within wall to shut fear out._

_But Thought has need for no such things,_

_For Thought has a pair of dauntless wings._

_On snow and sand and turf, I see_

_Where Love has left a printed trace_

_With straining in the world's embrace._

_And such is love and glad to be._

_But Thought has shaken his ankles free._

_Thought cleaves the interstellar gloom_

_And sits in Siruis' disc all night,_

_Till day makes him retrace his flight,_

_With smell of burning on every plume,_

_Back past the sun to an earthly room._

_His gains in heaven are what they are,_

_Yet some say Love by being thrall_

_And simply staying posseses all_

_In several beauty that Thought fares far_

_To find fused in another star._

_--Bond and Free_

A/N: I have decided that I will no longer be doing shout-outs in favor of thank-you emails, except in the cases when I can't, such as anonymous reviewers who don't leave email addresses. I would appreciate it if people would reply to them; it makes me feel more like a human. Those shout-outs were really cluttering up my chapters, too...

In other news, my self-confidence, for varying reasons, has taken a distinct downward plunge and I've found I'm having to work myself up to getting started on each new chapter. Once I get to that point I can generally get the chapter out fairly quickly. Please don't flame especially now. It would be a cruel thing to do. You have no idea what it takes to get the confidence to post each new chapter...

My eternal thanks and everlasting gratitude to: **Shadow's Fang**, **omasuoniwabanshi, Robin Autumn, Girl from the Ashes, RitSuYue, BlueGreenGray, Aiiro-bara, Tsukigana, MystiKoorime **and **Vindiya**.


	5. Acceptance

**Captive**

**Chapter Five: Acceptance**

The two stayed wrapped in each others' arms for an indefinite amount of time, each seeking the wordless comfort from the other. They had had to face a lot, the two of them, in their lives, and it was a relief to spend a few brief moments ignoring everything—and there was a lot—that was and had been wrong. For a little while, at least.

After a while the interruptions of life intruded. Botan sighed, Hiei releasing her—almost as if he was embarrassed, she thought—as he felt her subtle movement. The two fell apart, though the easy peace they had had remained; neither moved away from the other, the two hovering so close that they might as well have been touching.

Botan finally reached down and picked up the neglected package of food Kurama had brought, surprising herself with her hunger... But then again, she had missed several meals. Wordlessly she offered some to Hiei, who, equally silent, took the proffered food.

The silence between the two was both comfortable and awkward as both adjusted to what had been said earlier. Confessions, realizations... It had probably been for the best, but in the meantime it was difficult for both to puzzle out the new dimensions of their relationship.

Both noticed, separately and silently, that some part of them was frightened, almost, and...fractured, in a state of shock, with the speedy, sudden changes their life was taking. An equal part balanced, then overcame it, with the warmth of knowing that someone loved them back.

Neither knew how it would all work out in the end. If it would work out.

After all, Hiei was still confined; Botan was still unsure of the fate of her teacher, Genkai, only that she had escaped the mob that had nearly captured her... The country wasn't kind to magic-users who didn't conform to Enma's regime. Someone as powerful and high-profile as Genkai would doubtless be especially at risk, more likely to be recognized.

Botan herself would be in danger as soon as soon as she left Hiei's tower.

A sudden..._ripping _sensation deep within her chest tore her out of her thoughts, making her scream involuntarily, the noise quickly cut off, though her throat continued to work noiselessly, her features contorted with pain. She clutched at her torso, wrapping her arms tightly against herself, pressing tightly as if her physical actions would ease the psychologically-based pain. Hiei was at her side in a split-second instant, hesitating just as he was about to touch her, afraid to make anything worse. The noiseless scream finally ended, though her silence continued as she began to draw in desperate breathes, holding them for a beat before releasing them and drawing in the next one, frantic, hurried, rushed. Hiei's need to comfort finally over-whelmed his convictions of self-hate. _He would hurt her, just like he'd hurt everything else in his life, forbidden child, taboo, murderer,_ his mind supplied before it was silenced by a wash of need to touch her, hold her, help her in whatever little way he could.

Botan felt warm arms wrap hesitantly and desperately around her even through her pain, and dimly realized who it must be; her craving for a comforting touch was somewhat appeased, and she returned the hug, clinging to him fiercely as some subconscious part of her mind felt warmed by the gesture.

And then it was gone, the pain suddenly cut off. Botan collapsed, completely drained, and only Hiei's arms around her kept her off of the unforgiving stone that made up the entire tower. Her breathe was beginning to ease as a sudden wash of power ran through her, making her shudder, then lie still for a minute, Hiei nearly panicking behind her, before standing on her own again. She turned to look at the demon holding her, eyes telling him that she was fine, even if she was still shaking, before she buried her face into his shoulder, needing the contact. After a few minutes she heaved a sigh, then looked up once more, her shakes residing. She frowned slightly for a minute, introspective, before returning her attention to the concerned fire demon holding her. "My power's completely returned," she said, voice filled with wonder and surprise. "It's like the draining never happened! And... And whatever that was... Oh. Oh!"

"What?" asked Hiei, maybe as shaken as Botan.

"That..._priest_ must have put long-term drains on me! That's why I wasn't recovering! The bastard was draining me for power! That must've been him taking too much at once. That **feeling** was him pulling trying to pull the roots of my magic out of me..." She couldn't suppress a shudder and Hiei ghosted a comforting hand over her hair, stiffening slightly half-way through the gesture, suddenly worried he had over-stepped his boundaries. Botan smiled at him in encouragement, eyes slightly sad at his continued worry, and he followed through, relieved, taking pleasure in the simple gesture.

"I'm relieved, actually," said Botan finally. "I had been getting worried about how slowly my power was building back up." There was no response but a slight tightening of the arms around her, which she returned, but she was beginning to adapt to that, understanding Hiei's silence.

They were further interrupted by a surprised yelp by a window. "Er... I'llleaveifI'minterruptinganything! Don'tkillmeHiei!"

They both barely caught a glimpse of Yusuke before he fell out of sight, the action followed by a few muffled crashes on the forest floor below. Botan stifled a giggle and blushed as Hiei glared at the window's general direction. The mood was irrevocably shattered.

A few muttered curses later Yusuke reappeared, this time with a few twigs and leaves stuck to his clothes and in his hair. "I came to tell ya that there's something going on at the castle... I'm not sure what. Somethin' big, anyways. All sorts of people running all around. Thought you'd want to know. Bye!"

Before either of the two could respond he was off again, obviously not wanting to be left out of anything important. The two exchanged looks, Botan's baffled and Hiei's purposefully inscrutable. Botan didn't bother trying to hid her giggles this time.

Botan stretched, slow and long, still getting used to once more having a body filled with power. She yawned once, briefly, then got to her feet, opening her mouth as if to say something.

Before she could begin speaking Hiei suddenly stiffened, snapping to attention, moving faster than Botan could see to the other side of the room, gazing out the windows.

"What?" asked Botan, feeling much too exhausted for the time of day.

"The wards are gone," said Hiei, frowning heavily, deeply unnerved. "They're supposed to be tied to Enma, meant to fall with him."

Botan blinked, surprised. "That's a bit... petty."

Hiei half-smiled, a grim, merciless expression. "Yes. It is."

Five minutes later found them both at the servants' entrance of the castle, Botan nervous and Hiei grim, confident and self-assured.

"...with your third eye covered and no sword at least I don't think anyone will recognize you, because the last thing we want is a panicked run away from you or a vengeful lynch mob—"

"I can protect us from anything. It would be no difficult matter to defeat any disorganized attack."

"—good point. Sorry I'm babbling. It's just, I'm nervous about what's happened and...this will be my first time around people since I was first attacked..." She trailed off, blushing, ducking her head to hide her embarrassment.

Hiei's face softened marginally and he brushed a hand against hers, silent encouragement.

"Thank you..." she whispered, voice rough with unshed tears.

The two walked through the backways that any palace has, servants' steps and no-longer-used areas, the two escaping the notice of everyone who hurried past. It was as if the entire castle had fallen under some panic-inducing spell.

After a subjective eternity the two came to the final door they would cross, a discreet entrance into the throne room, the heart of the palace. If it had been a normal day than Enma would be holding his court in there, attended by a flock of courtiers, maids and footmen bustling about, carefully in the background, higher-up servants attempting to attract the right kind of attention, ambassadors and diplomats from neighboring countries and fiefdoms dancing attention on Crown-Prince Koenma, shrewdly attempting to gauge his opinion on whatever Princess, Duchess or Lady they represented.

With only a slight intake of breath Botan steeled herself before walking in. Almost immediately she shied away from the chaos inside, the mass of humanity, before shaking herself mentally and moving outward. She knew that Hiei was watching her from the shadows in the doorway (they had agreed he had a greater chance of being noticed if he went into the room) and that somehow gave her courage.

At first she was afraid someone would notice her as the magic-worker she was, and what had... happened at her village would repeat itself, but slowly she began to realize that was unlikely. She could feel magic in nearly everyone in the room, and there was barely anyone in the white robes and gold sashes of priests. There were half-demons, too, more than she had ever seen at once, and while the energy level in the room was high it seemed fairly relaxed, exuberant and not nervous or threatened...

A flash of graying pink hair made her turn. "Genkai!" she called out before common sense could cut in and tell her that there was next to no chance it actually was her, and that there was nearly nothing stupider she could do in this situation.

But the person turned and Botan looked up from her thoughts, mentally berating herself, about to apologize, and realized, dazedly, that it _was_ her, the teacher she had worried had died, and the girl couldn't help but throw herself and the stern old woman and sob near-silently into her shoulder.

Hiei itched to go to her, to comfort her. Common sense kept him still, barely.

Genkai turned, irritated, to see who had called her, blurting out her name like that. She never expected to see the student she thought she had lost to that village mob.

And then the girl was wrapped around her, sobbing, and all she could feel was relief. She hadn't died!

Eventually she took her student by the shoulders and held her a little aways from herself so she could look the girl in the eye. "What..." began both, more or less at the same time. Botan giggled slightly at this.

Watching the two Hiei couldn't help but worry. What would Botan's teacher think of her apprentice spending time with... him?

He ignored the urge to just leave.

"What happened?" said Botan finally.

"Revolution," said Genkai grimly. "Enma's dead. The priests are either dead, captured or defected to our side. Right now the magic worker's are in charge of the kingdom."

"...oh."

"What happened to you? How did you escape? Where have you been? I couldn't find you, even after I found someone to scry for you..."

"Could...could we go somewhere more private?"

Genkai looked at Botan, at the slightly nervous tension in her posture and the determined glint in her eyes.

"Yes. We can go to the servants' quarters. They've been blocked off."

"I have someone to go get. How do you get there?"

Of everything Genkai had been expecting, that hadn't been it. To her credit she only hesitated for the briefest moment.

"Here's a map of the castle. It should be one there."

"Thank you," smiled Botan, turning and disappearing into the crowd.

Genkai sighed. When had she started feeling so... _old_?

Botan slipped into the room Genkai had agreed to meet her at with butterflies in her stomach. What would her teacher think? That she had fallen in love with... the person who _used_ to be the Forbidden Child.

Botan knew she would react like sane person, but she couldn't help but wish she wouldn't.

Still, she knew she had to try. It wouldn't be _fair_ to just leave, without telling Genkai what had happened. Even if... Even if it meant running away and never coming back, with no chance of ever seeing her teacher again.

It was only fair.

Hiei brushed his hand against hers, just briefly, before they entered the room, sensing her nervousness through (or maybe because of) her defensive mask. Botan felt a deep warmth at the assurance that he was there with her, no matter what, and took a deep breath before stepping into the room.

_I seem to be spending a lot of time walking into rooms—and situations—I'm uncomfortable with, recently._ She thought.

Genkai raised an eloquent eyebrow as Hiei slipped into the room, a particularly defensive and grim shadow.

Something about him set off a faint resonance deep within her memory.

"This is Hiei," began Botan, swallowing nervously. "And... I suppose I should start at the beginning."

"Good place to start," said Genkai dryly.

"Well, I was running to escape from the mob, and I think I would have succeeded... Except for the drains. None of them was anything much, just passed-along greenwitch charms, but together it was just too much... We had come to a tower, just as I was about to collapse. I knew it was that or death, at that point, and so I took the unknown choice, which at least gave me a chance of survival. I came through the window, blacking out, and the next thing I know I wake up in a bed.

"Actually, I woke up as Hiei was leaning over to check me, but that's a different story. I was weak from my power being drained, barely able to stand, let alone manifest my oar, and so I had no choice but to stay..."

_Something about him... _

"I spent a few days there, getting to know Hiei and his friends, and we grew..." She paused for a minute, blushing, before continuing. "Closer." Hiei allowed a small smirk at her wording.

_She expected that her student was overreacting to something: the demon with her had been imprisoned for stealing from nobility, or something to that effect. Still, the eerie familiarity of him was keeping her from relaxing. Something was... wrong..._

"And then... Then..." Botan swallowed convulsively, and Hiei knew that, mentally, she was mirroring his thoughts: Genkai would react as she had to, and that was that, then, wasn't it?

_He was..._

"I am..."

_...**him**._

"... the Forbidden Child," said Hiei finally, wishing he could look away but knowing that he had to keep watch on the nearest threat, Genkai.

Genkai reacted, moving Botan behind her, instinct making her protect her. She ignored the squawked, surprised complaint Botan made, focusing her attention entirely on him.

She had only seen him once before, distantly, as he ran from Enma's hired assassins. That had been only a week before he had disappeared into history and legend, instead of only nightmares.

But she had seen the graves, and they had been fresher than when Botan had seen them. She had talked to parents, lovers, siblings and friends while the grief was still at its freshest. She had smelled the heavy smoke on the air each day, and known what it was.

"Genkai!" gasped Botan, scrambling franticly upright. As she managed a vertical position she wrapped her arms around her teacher, restraining her with a gentle, despairing grasp from behind.

Genkai knew that, while her student saw the best in all humanity, she was not as lost-in-the-clouds-silly as you would think. She wouldn't..._grow close_ (did she really **love **him?) with just anyone.

And Botan was still alive. She had spent days with him, and she was still alive. While she was talking he had tracked her with his eyes, when he thought no one was looking; he had gotten a gooey, smitten, soft look, no matter how damped down, when he touched her, little brushes with his hand as if to check she was still there... Still real.

It was not enough to make her relax. Still, she didn't attack and for Botan, at least, that was enough.

The three stood like that, a frozen tableau, no one willing to make the next move, or maybe simply not knowing what that next move should be.

Eventually Botan broke the nearly tangible stillness, cautiously letting go of Genkai. She sat down in a nearby chair, knees nearly giving out, shaky with a certain measure of relief and a greater amount of continued tension.

Hiei had to keep himself from rushing immediately to her side, needing the comfort as much as he needed to comfort her. He knew the situation was still more than delicate and Genkai would interpret any sudden motion as an attack.

That Genkai felt the need to protect Botan from him had hurt. The idea that he was the biggest threat to her happiness, to her life... Some little part of him still feared that he really would end up killing her; a larger part still thought, subconsciously and otherwise, that there was no way he would ever deserve her.

So instead he walked slowly to her, half his attention firmly locked on Genkai.

Botan wrapped her arms around him and he allowed it, softening as she pressed her head into his shoulder, seeking some subliminal comfort.

Genkai watched, and saw. Prejudice hadn't limited her before, and she wasn't going to let it do so now.

Admittedly, none of those situations had been quite like this one.

Still.

It didn't take long for her to come to a decision.

"I... Can't say I approve. But you're no child, Botan, and I don't have a say in the matter. I trust you." She paused for a minute, studying the two, before smirking slightly.

"Don't do anything I wouldn't have you do."

Botan blushed heavily and even Hiei felt his face warm. Never spending enough time around a live person (dead people were a different matter entirely) to be embarrassed had left him with no practice controlling the response.

Somehow, for Genkai, that nearly-invisible flush was more reassuring than any number of words.

It certainly made quite the picture.

A/N: Okay, repetition time: NEXT CHAPTER (as in the one that comes after this one) WILL BE THE VERY LAST ONE, NO EXCEPTIONS AND NO SEQUELS. That means that that's it. No more. I am trying to avoid the confusion that's happened in other fics and chapters...

I always feel like I have Genkai horribly out-of-character. I just don't have a handle on her personality... Eh.

The next chapter should be out fairly quickly. This one was going to be longer, but it was taking too long. I mean, I'm mean, but not that mean.

I was good and got out all my review responses! Thanks SO MUCH guys!

_No characters involved belong to me. The plot and certain characteristics of the world do. Please contact me when you archive, c2 or otherwise._


	6. Endings

**Captive**

**Chapter Six: Endings**

**A/N:** Okay, did my best to finish this up quickly! I leave early tomorrow morning and will be gone for a week. .:happiness:. I didn't want to leave you all hanging that long, because it would interrupt me and then it would be **two** weeks or so until I got the chapter out...

But anyways. Here it is! On the short side, but that's that. Hope you all like it!

Thank you so much to all of my reviewers/readers/favoriters for the entirety of this fic! You have all been truly, fantastically wonderful for putting up with me. Hope to see you all again!

"Hiei," said Botan finally, unexpectedly, breaking the silence. "That's his name," she clarified. "He was never introduced."

Hiei looked at her, blank.

"Uh..." said Genkai, looking momentarily off-kilter. It made sense, that the Forbidden Child wouldn't be called the Forbidden Child by the person he was..._close to_.

Hiei looked blank, hiding his own shock; today was just full of surprises. He hadn't been expecting that. He had been a monster, both in others' eyes and in his own, for so long that it came as a shock to be introduced otherwise.

"Hiei," said Genkai, tasting the name. "Makes sense." She didn't clarify what, exactly, made sense, or why, to anyone else; she knew what she was thinking—that if the monster that he—Hiei, the Forbidden Child—had been had changed, then he would be a different person, or changed to the point of unrecognizability.

There was a long and awkward pause. Botan was trembly with relief, Hiei would be, if he hadn't learned to control that much weakness, and Genkai couldn't quite wrap her mind around the image of her student wrapped in the arms of a mass-murderer, and returning the favor willingly.

"What happened?" asked Botan after a while, breaking the silence.

Genkai out-and-out smiled at that. It wasn't a particularly friendly expression—there was teeth in it. Sharp ones.

"Enma's been overthrown."

Botan choked as she jolted, surprised, the air catching in her throat.

"Say **what**?" she managed.

"There've been mutters about it for years," said Genkai, her smile still apparent but somewhat suppressed. "The introduction of the Priesthood and the start of the 'magical cleansing' was what finally set it in motion. It was planned to take place later, but your disappearance—and the fact that a village attacked me, which was completely unexpected—was the catalyst. Priests were overwhelmed by groups of magic workers, individually, each one done silently, so no one knew. Then we moved on the castle, with a few priests who were better than the others—meaning that they had some scrap of decency still left in their bodies—helping us, and took over."

"How was he killed?" asked Botan, eyes stormy. She was not very _fond_ of Enma, after what he did to Hiei. That long time alone moved beyond inhumane into the monstrous.

"He died of a heart attack right before the poison finished the job. It left him incapable of movement, and I guess the shock of what was happening—we revealed ourselves before he was fully dead—finally did him in."

Botan seemed to have inherited her teacher's alligator smile.

"We should probably find Yusuke and Kurama," said Botan finally. "They should know you're free."

Hiei nodded his agreement, eyes still carefully trained on Genkai.

"Yusuke Urameshi?" asked Genkai, with an odd inflection to her voice. At Hiei's curt nod she burst out with a sharp bark of laughter, leaving Hiei and Botan curious.

"What...?" asked Botan, leaving the question open-ended.

"Urameshi's my newest student. Great potential, total idiot." Botan simply looked stunned at this latest revelation, while Hiei stifled a smirk.

"That _idiot_ Enma... Leaving so many people untrained. It's a miracle that there's so few deaths from people loosing control..." said Botan, looking furious.

"That's definitely something that will need to change," agreed Genkai.

"Who's taking the throne?" asked Hiei in a guarded tone.

"Koenma," replied Genkai. "He won't be perfect, but he's capable, and hugely better than his father."

"The Priesthood?" prompted Hiei.

"The priests will be re-evaluated on an individual basis. Persecution of other magic-users will be completely stopped, of course, and anyone who shows any magical ability will be given a teacher. There will be another, subtler version of it set up—without the nastier aspects of the original, of course—to deal with issues before they happen. The current Priesthood will stay in place, with a lot of changes. They'll be taught healing and given instructions in how to teach children in whatever village they end up stationed at. They certainly won't have as much power as they've had previously."

"Why's Koenma taking the throne?" asked Botan. "Aren't there better options?"

"The army's faithful to Enma and his family," said Genkai. "Some of the villagers will be, too. While he was a tyrant, the priests did some good things, and he was responsible for—" she paused slightly "—getting rid of the Forbidden Child."

Botan winced slightly at her words as Hiei almost visibly closed himself off, emotionally, windows drawing closed in his carefully guarded expression.

"That said, Koenma has no idea that you even exist. Apparently Enma wasn't particularly close to anyone, including his son and heir. You two are free to go. Hiei, I don't think anyone will recognize you; I barely did, and I've seen you before. I can put an invisibility spell on your swords for you, and the bandanna hides your third eye. I think you should be fine."

Botan and Hiei exchanged looks. Before, they had been careful not to think of the future in anything other than the most, vague, abstract terms. With Hiei imprisoned in his cell and both still uncertain of what their relationship was, it hadn't ever been a good idea.

"May we stay somewhere in the palace for a while?" asked Botan. "While we get things worked out?"

"Yes, that's fine," said Genkai, walking to the door, followed by the other two. She grabbed a passing person, stating her request, telling Hiei and Botan to follow him, gave Botan one more relieved hug before moving on, still busy.

The two were soon ensconced in a plain guest room, furnished with a bed, chest-of-drawers and writing desk. (1) Botan was seated in the desk chair, Hiei perched on the window-ledge.

"What do we do next?" asked Botan at last.

It was a good question. Her foreseeable future had changed dramatically when she crashed through Hiei's window; he hadn't had one at all. Now neither had any idea of what to do.

"I... I don't know," said Hiei, face tainted with worry.

"I don't want to leave..." said Botan quietly. "I just saw Genkai again, I had thought she was dead, and I don't want that to happen again, and she's still training me. I'd like to finish with that."

"Staying would be good," agreed Hiei, looking up at her. "I don't want to leave Yusuke and Kurama—they're the only friends I've ever had."

"Would Koenma let us live in the royal forest, near the castle?" asked Botan slowly, eyes meeting red as she mirrored Hiei's gaze. There was hope in his eyes.

"I don't know why you insist on doing this, woman," said Hiei, watching Botan bustle around their new house, tweaking this, adjusting that and distributing plates of finger-food.

"Because it's been a few months since we saw everyone, and we owe them a thank-you for helping us build the house."

"Hn."

"It **will** be nice to see everyone, don't deny it. I've missed them, at least."

Hiei sighed. "That's why I haven't complained more."

Botan looked up, expression gentle. "Thank you," she said softly, simply.

Hiei flitted next to her, glancing quickly at her for permission before wrapping her in his arms. The two stood like that for a minute, peaceful, before Botan cautiously pressed her lips to his.

Both were still adapting to their situation; both were slowly growing used to being needed, needing and love. It was by no means a whirlwind romance—they hadn't done anything other than kiss, and both were cautious, unsure of themselves—but maybe that was for the better. As things were, both got a little white-hot bubble of joy, amazement and genuine surprise when they thought, once again, _me, they love me!_

A knock at the door interrupted them. Between blink and blink Hiei was once more in his spot, securely out of the way of house-warming party guests or, as he viewed them, nosy busy-bodies getting in the way of his time with Botan.

"Hey Botan!" greeted Yusuke noisily. "Any kids yet?"

Botan's flustered half-responses were interrupted by a squawk from Yusuke. "What was **that **for, Hag? Damn, all a guy needs to do is ask a question!"

"Uh, why don't you come in..." said Botan.

Watching her interact happily with the ever-growing stream of guests—_when had she met so many people?_ he wondered—his thoughts inevitably went back to a time, six months earlier, before Botan had entered his life, when he had had no future other than more of the same, the monotony of imprisonment and the prison of his thoughts. Even if he had been offered freedom, he might have stayed; what he had done was... More than unforgivable.

Botan had done the impossible. She had let him let go, had let him move on. His past still haunted him, but it wasn't who he was anymore. It no longer defined him.

He didn't deserve it, any of it, but he had realized that almost no one ever does. You just needed to accept that and move on.

And he thought he could be at ease with his happiness.

Most of all, Botan had taught him to forgive himself.

(1) No raven. (For those who didn't catch that, "How is a raven like a writing desk?" is a quote from either Alice in Wonderland or Through the Looking Glass, I'm not sure which one. There is no answer—come up with one of your own!)

**A/N**: And end!

Hope you were all satisfied that everything got suitably wrapped up.

And hey! I've got a great idea! You should all PM me. Go on, do it, you know you want to! I need people to talk to. You should also review—then I'll PM you instead! Or we could do both! Wouldn't that be just great?


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